Mad Girl's Love song
by Busty Sinclaire
Summary: Rose Wants the Doctor. So does Jack, maybe. And you can't always get what you want.


_Author's notes: I don't own Doctor Who. Takes place some time after_ The Doctor Dances_ and before_ Bad Wolf_. 9th doctor, obviously._

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Rose feels heavy. Her bones are leaden weights anchoring her to the earth. No matter where they are in the universe, she is ever anchored to Earth. Her humanity weighs heavy on her. And she can't think of anything she wants more than to escape it.

The Doctor makes her feel too much all at once, she thinks. Rose doesn't know if she can bear the burden. The Doctor never notices her. Not in the way she wants him to, anyway. But that's all right because Jack's here now and The Doctor never notices him either.

Pretty, pretty Jack looks at Rose sometimes, when he's not looking at The Doctor. Pretty Jack who makes her feel weightless, effortless. Pretty Jack who is all cynical quips and knowing winks and easy smiles. He makes Rose feel like champagne. He makes her feel like a helium balloon sailing through a summer sky. He brings with him an effervescence that rose finds irresistible after being with The Doctor so long.

The Doctor makes her feel that she is too much, or not enough. The contradiction scares her a little, and makes her feel entirely human, entirely alone and insignificant. It weighs down her skin and turns her bones to lead.

Pretty Jack looks at her and she looks at him and they form a plan without ever even opening their mouths.

* * *

"Do you think I'll be enough, Rosie?" Jack asks her suddenly, a week or so later. They are in a marketplace on one of the lesser moons of Beta-Glancorpia enjoying a rare peaceful afternoon. They are shopping, and they are alone together and Rose is caught completely off guard. "Do you think I'll be enough to make you forget The Doctor, even for a little while?" Jack's eyes are pinning her in place, and his body is tense. Rose sees the hardness in him that is usually buried beneath his charm and his smiles, and she feels a thrill run through her.

She shrugs at him and hides her face, suddenly shy. "You might be, for a little while. But what about me? Am I enough?"

Jack takes her hand and clasps it dramatically against his chest. "Rosie, you're a pearl among swine, yours is a price above rubies! You've got diamonds dancing in the meeting of your thighs!"

"I'm sorry, what? I've got diamonds where?"

"Sorry. Maybe I took that one a little far. Point is you're a gem, darling Rose. I'd be a luck bastard to get even a little of you. And besides, you'll tide me over nicely 'till the next hot young thing comes along."

"Jack Harkness, you are unbelievable."

Jack is all smiles again. "That's all the encouragement I need, darling," he says, and sweeps her off her feet into a lingering kiss.

When he breaks it off he takes her hand and pulls her through the marketplace, buying her odd trinkets and pretty things until she can't carry any more. They make their way, dizzy and breathless and laughing to the TARDIS, and when they arrive The Doctor is waiting. Rose's laughter is cut short by the look in his eye. The buoyant mood Rose has been in threatens to burst. She stands for a moment, torn between the two men before throwing her arms around Jack, clinging to the remains of her vivacity.

"That was wonderful, Jack! Thank you for such a brilliant day. I loved every minute."

Jack laughs and hugs her back tightly. "Anything for you, darling Rose." And she knows he means it in every possible way. She lets him go and smiles up at him. Giving The Doctor a cheery wave, she collects her bags and goes to her room.

The Doctor says nothing. He merely turns his back to them and starts up the TARDIS.

* * *

She's in the solarium looking out the windows when Jack finds her. Rose loves the solarium despite the fact that it was in a bit of a state of disrepair and all the plants in it had begun to go a tad feral. But it was a beautiful room, and Rose felt that maybe someone had loved it once and then lost interest, leaving the room to fend for itself.

Jack moves behind her and stands close. Rose can feel the heat of him against her back and leans back so that they stand pressed together

"When, Jack?"

"When you least expect it, darling," He says, and his breath whispers against her ear. "That's what makes it fun."

"But I don't want to wait much longer."

He has not shaved for once, and Rose nearly swoons when she feels his stubbled chin scraping gently across her skin, his smooth tongue flicking out, tasting her, his teeth nipping at her neck.

"As soon as it stops being fun, I promise I'll come find you," He says and his voice is low and rough. He leaves as suddenly as he had approached, and when the The Doctor comes in a moment later he asks her why she is so out of breath. She shrugs at him and says nothing, but there's a secret sort of smile that persists on her lips. He stares at it and says nothing right back.

* * *

She's wearing a dress, Rose is. The dress is pale, pale pink, feminine and full with a lace bodice and lace trimming on the hemline that just reaches her knees. Jack sees it and whistles low.

"I like this look on you, Rosie. Very Tennessee Williams. Very 'Streetcar named Desire'."

The Doctor scoffs. "D'you really want to compare rose to Blanche DuBois? And besides, Rose doesn't know who Tennessee Williams is, do you Rose?"

"I may not have read the play, Doctor, but I did see the movie." Rose says waspishly. "Mum had a crush on Marlon Brando for a bit. She watched it at least twice a week the summer I turned thirteen. And thank you ever so much for insulting my intelligence. I know I didn't finish school, but I'm not an idiot."

Jack cleared his throat. "Now that we've established that Rose is not an illiterate yokel, I would like to reiterate my compliment on her stunning attire. I approve rose. I wholeheartedly approve. Granted, I would approve of anything that allowed me a better view of your bare legs. You should channel your inner Blanche more often."

"Thank you, Jack, but if I have to be a Tennessee Williams character, can I be Maggie the Cat instead? I rather like her better."

"Maggie the Cat? Maggie the cat was a shrew!" The Doctor exclaims.

"Yes, doctor," she replies as she heads out the door. She knows they are watching and swings her step, causing her skirt to sway against her skin. "But that girl had life in her body. And so do I"

* * *

The first time Jack finds her it is after a narrow escape from an angry mob on Stravos-5. It is rough and fast and an affirmation. Later they cannot decide what it is an affirmation of. Jack suggests being alive. Rose is in favor of being alone.

It happens again and again, and they are both having too much fun to worry about what the doctor thinks of it. It is a welcome reprieve from constantly worrying what the doctor thinks of them.

* * *

Jack comes after her one day, and attempts to corner her in the kitchen, the wardrobe room, the many, many stairways, but Rose escapes every time.

"It's my turn to tease, Jack." She says before kissing him hard and running away.

The next day Rose wears her pink dress again because she knows it drives him mad.

* * *

When he finally catches her, they are in the console room. Jack corners her and she squeals and pretends to fight but knows from the beginning that this time she will give in. Jack grabs her by the waist and lifts her up, perching her on the edge of the console. There is little finesse, just skin and urgency and bunched clothing. Rose is glad she decided not to wear knickers that morning. Jack thrusts into her and she gasps out loud. There is a knob on the console digging into her hip and Rose adds another bruise to her collection, along with the marks that Jack will surely leave between her thighs. From over Jack's shoulder she can see The Doctor standing just outside doorway watching them. They have been noisy and have made no effort to censor themselves. A spark of defiance lights inside Rose and she arches her back and rolls her hips. Jack makes a strangled noise and thrusts deeper, faster harder, and she is nearly undone at the feel of it.

A few more strokes and her spine arches hard, goes rigid. Rose's mind flies apart and she escapes the weight of her humanity. For a few precious moments Rose can think of nothing but the sheer satisfaction of it all.

Above her, Jack groans and sags against her, partially supporting himself on shaking arms.

They stay like this for a moment or two, bodies pressed together in a bundle of limbs and clothes and sweat. The Doctor is no longer standing in the doorway. Rose wonders if her dress will be too horribly wrinkled, or if she's gotten any stains on it. She smiles at Jack and smoothes sweat-soaked strands of hair out of his eyes.

"That was lovely, Jack. Thank you." She says, and kisses him hard before sliding out from under him, straightening her pretty pink dress as she goes.

* * *

She finds The Doctor in the solarium, sitting in one of the few usable chairs and looking out of a window towards a simulated horizon. She pauses for a moment at the door before she walks in. Rose stops a few feet from The Doctor and he will not look her in the eye. She hadn't expected him to, but feels the urge to punish him anyway.

"See, Doctor? Life in my body."

He looks away from her and Rose feels the full burden of her flesh. When he speaks The Doctor's voice is flat, matter-of-fact. Rose knows the tone could mean nothing or it could mean imminent danger and loss of life. She had heard it directed at Daleks, and at a piece of flesh stretched out on a metal frame. She never dreamed he could use that tone on her.

"I can smell him on you." He says, in that flat, horrible tone. "Every time you go to him, I smell him on you afterwards."

"Can you now?" Rose cocks her head at him and arches an eyebrow. She is caught between fierce, savage, bitter triumph and utter shame. "Neat trick, that. Must come in handy."

The Doctor's voice is still flat and icy and terrible. "Rose," he says, "Take a bath."

* * *

_The Quote about the diamonds Jack says to Rose if from the Maya Angelou Poem _Still I Rise_. The actual quote is _"Does my sexiness upset you?/ Does it come as a surprise/ That I dance like I've got diamonds/ At the meeting of my thighs?"_ I didn't think Jack would remember it proper-like so the mangling is on purpose. The other bits, the pearls among swine and the price above rubies are also purposefully mangled a little and are taken from various bits of the bible. _

_The character Maggie the Cat and the line about having life in her body are both from the Tennessee Williams play _"Cat on a Hot Tin Roof" _Read it. or watch the movie, which has a very young, very handsom Paul Newman. and Liz Taylor to boot. Love it. _

_The title is from a Sylvia Plath Poem. Read that, too. _


End file.
